April 2010
0 posts
“What I once thought only true in textbooks, is now reality.”
This isn't what it looks like.
That’s not a dozen donuts in a box. On the counter. No, I didn’t eat them all myself. Yes they were delicious.
October 2009
1 post
Jelly Donut Sunday.
See you Sunday at 9am Mass. On the way home pick up some jelly donuts. Eat them outside with the whole day ahead of you, not a care in the world.
June 2009
0 posts
Musing on Becoming Dad.
There is a rattle in my dashboard. Just below the vents and in the upper left corner of where the panel for the stereo intersects with the panel for the top of the dash. If I press on it with two fingers I hear plastic clicking into place and the rattle stops. This drives me crazy.
May 2008
2 posts
Diva.
Customer Service: Gooood Evening, Wedding Paper Ladies dot com, this is Steve.
fzs: Hi
Customer Service: Hello, sir, what shade of fushia were you looking for?
fzs: What? Um, actually I had a question about your paper samples.
Customer Service: Oh wonderful, what invitation package were you looking at?
fzs: *pause* ... *gulp*
fzs: Sunny Daisy Wedding in, well, Fushia.
Customer Service: Excellent choice, sir! That's our newest design. It's totally killer.
fzs: '....'
Customer Service: Unfortunately, we do not have those samples yet. Might I suggest you order Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia? It's similar, and has the same color.
fzs: Sure, sign me up for Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia.
Run.
co-worker: *worried* FSZ, what's happening with the updates I just sent you? Why aren't they live?
fzs: ALIEN INVASION. RUN!!
co-worker: *distracted* just a moment, FSZ, I'm on the phone.
April 2008
3 posts
Dream Job
Marketing: Could you put a Papal Announcement on the Home Page?
*fzs's eyes widen, jaw drops*
fzs: You've have made my career. Thank you. Bless you.
Agency of Record
CEO of PFPiaCW: So, I'd like to segue to the next slide, and discuss why we're called PFPiaCW.
*CEO's iPhone rings, vibrates; CTO is feverishly scrolling BlackBerry.*
CEO of PFPiaCW: As you'll notice on the next slide, our acronym stands for...
Director of Services: (interrupting) You had me at acronym. Where do I sign?
Branding
Assistant to the Director: We are *excited* to discuss the logo today.
fzs: Good to hear, we really like the options we've put together for you.
Assistant to the Director: We already have plans for it.
fzs: Oh wow, like what?
Assistant to the Director: Pedometers.
fzs: Really. Pedometers.
Assistant to the Director: We wanted to make something useful for people, not just a pen or something.
March 2008
3 posts
Lessons in Intoxicated Household Cleaning
fzs: Looks like the dog watered our rug again, I'll clean it up.
fzs: *rummages under sink for Nature's Miracle*
fzs: *skips back to spot, and begins saturating rug*
fzs: Oh, God, NO!
m: What?
fzs: I just sprayed the rug with Target Cleaner with Bleach.
m: *shriek*
m: *rushing over, douses rug with water from plastic watering can*
fzs: What are you doing!
m: Diluting the Target Cleaner with Bleach!
fzs: *reminds self to never clean while intoxicated again*
Guarantee yourself a second interview,
by talking about servlets, and your local church.
“I fucking love TurboTax, taxation has never been so fun.”
February 2008
8 posts
! • High Priority
Hey There, The weekend was busy… I worked all day yesterday and all of a sudden it was Monday! Anyhoo…
Thing
Mike: we aren't redesigning, per se, just making adjustments
Group: mm hmm
Mike: we want to consider the user-centric approach to the whole ... um ... thing
Group: mmm, yes.
“How to avoid projectile vomiting on the subway: do not bring a 6-ton bucket of...”
Blurry
Doctor: Where the fuck did we get the stock art for the new site?
FZS: Veer.
Doctor: Do they have any less blurry Asians?
FZS: There will be clear Asians once we secure funding, guaranteed.
Pomp and Circumstance
Steve: Where is your office again Ron?
Mike: Just follow the smell of incense, Steve.
Ron: Har, har. And don't be a stranger.
“A Kindle in the wild. Be careful, it has a suede hide, and a groddy palm...”
Let's talk this logo thing through.
I'm not an artist but: we could try a triangle.
fzs: we could, indeed.
I'm not an artist but: i like number two, and maybe we make the text larger.
fzs: this is about emotion, it's not a MS Word Document.
I'm not an artist but: we can balance this with larger type.
fzs: let's just use Times New Roman 48pt.
I'm not an artist but: perfect
“Yesterday, the Z-Space was aflutter with activity, big announcements, and...”