Something Like Me.

June 1

Musing on Becoming Dad.

There is a rattle in my dashboard. Just below the vents and in the upper left corner of where the panel for the stereo intersects with the panel for the top of the dash. If I press on it with two fingers I hear plastic clicking into place and the rattle stops. This drives me crazy.
May 15

Diva.

  • Customer Service: Gooood Evening, Wedding Paper Ladies dot com, this is Steve.
  • fzs: Hi
  • Customer Service: Hello, sir, what shade of fushia were you looking for?
  • fzs: What? Um, actually I had a question about your paper samples.
  • Customer Service: Oh wonderful, what invitation package were you looking at?
  • fzs: *pause* ... *gulp*
  • fzs: Sunny Daisy Wedding in, well, Fushia.
  • Customer Service: Excellent choice, sir! That's our newest design. It's totally killer.
  • fzs: '....'
  • Customer Service: Unfortunately, we do not have those samples yet. Might I suggest you order Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia? It's similar, and has the same color.
  • fzs: Sure, sign me up for Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia.
May 6

Run.

  • co-worker: *worried* FSZ, what's happening with the updates I just sent you? Why aren't they live?
  • fzs: ALIEN INVASION. RUN!!
  • co-worker: *distracted* just a moment, FSZ, I'm on the phone.
April 17

Dream Job

  • Marketing: Could you put a Papal Announcement on the Home Page?
  • *fzs's eyes widen, jaw drops*
  • fzs: You've have made my career. Thank you. Bless you.
April 16

Agency of Record

  • CEO of PFPiaCW: So, I'd like to segue to the next slide, and discuss why we're called PFPiaCW.
  • *CEO's iPhone rings, vibrates; CTO is feverishly scrolling BlackBerry.*
  • CEO of PFPiaCW: As you'll notice on the next slide, our acronym stands for...
  • Director of Services: (interrupting) You had me at acronym. Where do I sign?
+

Branding

  • Assistant to the Director: We are *excited* to discuss the logo today.
  • fzs: Good to hear, we really like the options we've put together for you.
  • Assistant to the Director: We already have plans for it.
  • fzs: Oh wow, like what?
  • Assistant to the Director: Pedometers.
  • fzs: Really. Pedometers.
  • Assistant to the Director: We wanted to make something useful for people, not just a pen or something.
March 16

Lessons in Intoxicated Household Cleaning

  • fzs: Looks like the dog watered our rug again, I'll clean it up.
  • fzs: *rummages under sink for Nature's Miracle*
  • fzs: *skips back to spot, and begins saturating rug*
  • fzs: Oh, God, NO!
  • m: What?
  • fzs: I just sprayed the rug with Target Cleaner with Bleach.
  • m: *shriek*
  • m: *rushing over, douses rug with water from plastic watering can*
  • fzs: What are you doing!
  • m: Diluting the Target Cleaner with Bleach!
  • fzs: *reminds self to never clean while intoxicated again*
March 14

Guarantee yourself a second interview,

by talking about servlets, and your local church.
March 9
“ I fucking love TurboTax, taxation has never been so fun.
February 25

! • High Priority

Hey There,

The weekend was busy… I worked all day yesterday and all of a sudden it was Monday!

Anyhoo…