Something Like Me.
Diva.
- Customer Service: Gooood Evening, Wedding Paper Ladies dot com, this is Steve.
- fzs: Hi
- Customer Service: Hello, sir, what shade of fushia were you looking for?
- fzs: What? Um, actually I had a question about your paper samples.
- Customer Service: Oh wonderful, what invitation package were you looking at?
- fzs: *pause* ... *gulp*
- fzs: Sunny Daisy Wedding in, well, Fushia.
- Customer Service: Excellent choice, sir! That's our newest design. It's totally killer.
- fzs: '....'
- Customer Service: Unfortunately, we do not have those samples yet. Might I suggest you order Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia? It's similar, and has the same color.
- fzs: Sure, sign me up for Fairytale Princess Elegant in Fushia.
Run.
- co-worker: *worried* FSZ, what's happening with the updates I just sent you? Why aren't they live?
- fzs: ALIEN INVASION. RUN!!
- co-worker: *distracted* just a moment, FSZ, I'm on the phone.
Dream Job
- Marketing: Could you put a Papal Announcement on the Home Page?
- *fzs's eyes widen, jaw drops*
- fzs: You've have made my career. Thank you. Bless you.
Agency of Record
- CEO of PFPiaCW: So, I'd like to segue to the next slide, and discuss why we're called PFPiaCW.
- *CEO's iPhone rings, vibrates; CTO is feverishly scrolling BlackBerry.*
- CEO of PFPiaCW: As you'll notice on the next slide, our acronym stands for...
- Director of Services: (interrupting) You had me at acronym. Where do I sign?
Branding
- Assistant to the Director: We are *excited* to discuss the logo today.
- fzs: Good to hear, we really like the options we've put together for you.
- Assistant to the Director: We already have plans for it.
- fzs: Oh wow, like what?
- Assistant to the Director: Pedometers.
- fzs: Really. Pedometers.
- Assistant to the Director: We wanted to make something useful for people, not just a pen or something.
Lessons in Intoxicated Household Cleaning
- fzs: Looks like the dog watered our rug again, I'll clean it up.
- fzs: *rummages under sink for Nature's Miracle*
- fzs: *skips back to spot, and begins saturating rug*
- fzs: Oh, God, NO!
- m: What?
- fzs: I just sprayed the rug with Target Cleaner with Bleach.
- m: *shriek*
- m: *rushing over, douses rug with water from plastic watering can*
- fzs: What are you doing!
- m: Diluting the Target Cleaner with Bleach!
- fzs: *reminds self to never clean while intoxicated again*
Guarantee yourself a second interview,
by talking about servlets, and your local church.
I fucking love TurboTax, taxation has never been so fun.
! • High Priority
Hey There,
The weekend was busy… I worked all day yesterday and all of a sudden it was Monday!
Anyhoo…